Unless you want to join a convent and take a vow of abstinence after your divorce there will come a time when you’re ready to re-enter the wonderful (or terrifying for some) world of dating.
The thing is… divorce is very rarely amicable so you may be carrying some trust issues or even doubts and fears about seeing someone again and starting a new relationship.
Don’t worry too much about this, as it’s perfectly normal, most divorced people to go through the pain barrier and build their confidence up again to enter the dating scene.
One of the main barriers can be trying to rush into a new relationship just to feel loved, but this can actually bring you more problems and confidence issues if you choose the wrong partner in desperation… so my advice is, take it easy.
There is life after divorce but you have to be prepared to go out and get it!
Tip 1 – Meet new people
Think of dating as an opportunity to meet lots of new people and take stock of what you really look for in a serious partner this time around. For example, if your ex-spouse was really untidy, are you seeking someone a bit more organized? Or if they had control issues are you looking for a mate who is more laid back?
Tip 2 – Take your time
Think about this… are you looking for some fun and entertainment or do you seek a more serious relationship? Rushing in too soon can cloud your view of the world… so take it easy and get to know yourself better before you start picking flaws in someone else.
Tip 3 – Build your confidence
You may even feel ashamed or embarrassed about the failure of your marriage… but you know that’s the way life goes, many people are on their third or fourth marriage so no-one really cares as much as you think they do.
Tip 4 – Go with your gut feeling
Don’t forget you have a LOT to offer don’t sell yourself short and don’t take any nonsense, go with your gut and take it slowly. As long as you take the necessary safety precautions then give that new date a chance to prove themselves.
Tip 5 – Take the pressure off
A good piece of advice for the first date is always meet during the day if possible and even for a coffee. This puts less pressure on the two of you having to make conversation for two or three hours over dinner (sometimes it can be two or three hours of painful silence if you don’t have much in common).